Anyone that has seen the movie Rush Hour probably remembers the early scene where Chris Tucker’s character – Detective James Carter – saying the following to Jack Chan, "Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?"
Chris thought Jackie couldn’t speak English and was frustrated, and Jackie thought Chris was treating him like an idiot and thought Chris was a joke. Not necessarily the best start to a partnership……
Ever get the feeling that the person across from you is just not listening? They seem distracted (squirrel!). They keep asking you questions that you just answered. They just don’t get what you are saying or ignore it. They don’t make eye contact, or worse are doing something else while you talk to them. They keep interrupting you. Frustrating, huh? How valued does that make you feel?
Ever find yourself interrupting others? Are you starting to think about how you are going to reply to someone while they are still talking? Do you get distracted (squirrel! again!) easily while others are talking to you? If so, are you really hearing what they have to say?
Listening is probably the most important communication skill. Our success at work and in any relationship is based on fully hearing what the other person is saying (and what they are not saying). If you give me instructions on something that you need me to do, and I am not fully listening to you, I may miss something important that means that I fail at the task and fail to meet your expectations. It is also how we build respect with other people. If you feel I always give you my full attention and hear what you have to say, your respect for me goes up.
Stop what you are doing. Give others your full attention. Don’t interrupt them. Wait until they are finished before thinking about your reply. Be a good listener!
"The master of the dialog is the one who is listening." - Socrates
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