No, I am not going to give anyone marital advice (BTW, ever notice how close in spelling “marital” is to “martial”….just saying….). I want to discuss the nature of good work relationships. We are all adults here. You know what….we should act like it! Work relationships should be ADULT-TO-ADULT relationships, even between managers and their employees, not ADULT-TO-CHILD. What’s the difference?
Characteristics of ADULT-TO-ADULT Relationships:
· You own your stuff, and let the other person own their stuff.
· You are able to ask for what you what, knowing that the answer may be no (and are ok with that).
· Getting the job done is more important than who is right or being heard.
· There is a clear understanding on the difference between WANTS & NEEDS in the relationship (leading to a good sense of priorities).
· A feeling of mutual benefit exists and both people are getting value from the relationship.
Characteristics of ADULT-TO-CHILD Relationships:
· It’s always about someone else – their fault – and the question of “fairness” comes up often (and no, life is not fair).
· A feeling of obligation and/or entitlement exists.
· Being right is more important than getting the job done.
· Everything is viewed as a NEED and there is no sense of priorities.
· The relationship is more one-sided.
At the end of the day, good adult relationships are where both parties take full ownership – responsibility and accountability – for their part in the relationship.
“Let’s not forget it’s you and me vs. the problem… NOT you vs. me.” – Steve Maraboli
“When will the rhetorical questions end?” – George Carlin
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