The secret to living a happier life? Don’t Take Anything Personally. Ever come home at night and your spouse, significant other, child, roommate, etc. snaps at you and treats you like crap? And, you have no idea why? And, worse, you feel bad about it? And, even worse, end up in a stupid fight about their snapping at you? This is a great example of taking things too personally. That person was probably stressed over something that had nothing to do with you…yet you ended up down a rabbit hole you never want to go down!
We are all social creatures and to survive in a community we rely – to different degrees – on other people and their opinions of us. As a result, people have a tendency to take things that happen around them personally. More often than not, those things are not even about them. Here are some thoughts on how to stop taking things so personally:
1. Don’t worry so much about what other people think about you. It’s your own opinion of yourself that matters most.
2. Recognize the “spotlight” effect. You are typically your own worst critic. Most of the time when others say things we fill in the blanks with our own story and judgements about ourselves which are usually harsher.
3. Realize that not everything is about you. Usually when someone else is expressing anger it is about them or about something that happened, not about you personally.
4. Don’t respond immediately from an emotional state. Give yourself a minute. Take a breath. And, think it through first.
“We often add to our pain and suffering by being overly sensitive, over-reacting to minor things, and sometimes taking things too personally.” – Dalai Lama
“Arrogance and fear still keep you from learning the simplest and most significant lesson of all; it’s not about you.” – The Ancient One (Tilda Swinton) from the Dr. Strange Movie
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