Never underestimate the power of “because.” And, I don’t mean the typical parent answer, “because I said so!”
When my daughter, Noa, was little, she used to drive me crazy asking me one question….”Why?” Why do you need to go to work, daddy? Why do we have eyes? Why do you have no hair? Why are trees green? Why do we sleep at night? Why? Why? Why? And the most dreaded, “but why?” Which was the question she kept asking after every answer I would give her until I started answering “just because” until one of us got tired of it and walked away (usually me).
A classic study conducted by a Harvard psychology professor revealed that people were 33% more likely to let someone use a copier before them when they gave a reason for the request. Shockingly, the power of because held strong even when the reason was redundant: “May I use the Xerox because I have to make copies?”
The takeaway is obvious: people are far more likely to understand, empathize and agree with you when you explain the reasons behind your actions. In fact, next to using the word “you” and answering the question “what’s in it for me?” for the other person, “because” followed by an explanation (even a lame one) is the second most persuasive word in the English language.
Giving the reasons why also help create connection. I realized after a few years that Noa’s unending asking of why was not for the sole purpose of learning about the world (or even just to drive me crazy). It was her way of creating a connection with me. Just like at home, strong connections are critical in the business world. They tilt business in our favor, create understanding and help us be civil to each other when we are under excessive stress.
Things To Do: When you are communicating with someone else, take a minute to give them a reason why. Be brief and be honest with your reasons – the gift of context makes everyone’s day easier and less stressful. If you’re a subordinate, explaining why is the most respectful way to decline a request or offer an alternative course of action. If you’re a leader, explaining why reveals you’re not just a dictator, issuing commands and saying “no” arbitrarily.
“He who has a WHY, can endure any HOW.” ― Friedrich Nietzsche
“People don't buy what you do; they buy why you do it. And what you do simply proves what you believe. ”
― Simon Sinek
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