Have you ever heard the saying that “possession is 9/10ths of the law”? It is an expression that means ownership is easier to maintain if one has possession of something or is difficult to enforce if one does not. While it is not literally true in a legal sense, in the Hatfield–McCoy feud (remember that famous family feud?), with testimony evenly divided, the doctrine that possession is nine-tenths of the law caused Floyd Hatfield to retain possession of the pig that the McCoys claimed was their property.
A similar saying can be applied to our working relationships with people, except it goes “perception is 9/10ths of a relationship”. How people perceive you dramatically affects the way they will treat you, their loyalty to you, the amount of trust in the relationship, and your ability to successfully work with them to accomplish something. So, how do you give others a good perception of you? For me, it’s an easy rule of three – Respect, honesty and consistency.
1. Treat people with respect. Something wasn’t done or done right? You’re frustrated and angry? Step outside, take a deep breath and count to ten. This is the workplace; we are all professionals here. There is never a good reason to disrespect someone else, belittle them or make them feel bad, no matter what. One thing that helps me is I see all mistakes, problems and issues as something wrong with the PROCESS, not with the PERSON, and an opportunity to improve. FYI - It’s a lot harder to get angry at a process than a person.
2. Be honest with people. If people know you are straight with them – and that’s your reputation – you build trust and you build loyalty. They will trust your word and be more likely to follow your lead and excuse a mistake if you make one. Part of this is don’t make promises you cannot keep. That is an important part of being honest – with other people and yourself. Besides, I find the older I get, the more my memory is challenged! I don’t want to have to remember – or rely on my memory for – what I tell people. If you don’t lie, you don’t have to remember what lie you told.
3. Be consistent. People are resistant to change. Having someone that is predictable and solid to depend on is comforting to most people. It allows them to know what to expect and how to coordinate getting their part done when working with someone else. And think of this…which “me” are you going to trust is the real me? The one that is nice to you 10% of the time, or that yells at you 90% of the time?
And remember one thing, like it or not, we are always aware of and judging the actions of those around us, even of those actions are not directed at us.
“Your smile is your logo, your personality is your business card, how you leave others feeling after having an experience with you becomes your trademark.” - Jay Danzie
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