Why?!?!

For anyone that has children or has spent any amount of time around them, “why” is the most dreaded word in the English language.  Every two seconds they ask “why”.  My daughter drove me crazy with that word when she was little (and still does today, though these days I think she does it on purpose).  Why is the sky blue?  Why do you work?  Why is it bedtime?  Why do you have no hair? And on, and on, forever!  I got so frustrated I started answering “because!”   Why – because – why – because – but, why – because!  Until I had to leave the room. 

Why do children do that?  Curiosity.  It is the most basic and successful of learning tools we have.  I want to understand….tell me why.  In business, that desire to understand why is a powerful tool as well.  It can get others invested in helping us, instead of just doing what we say.  It can make them allies instead of adversaries.  By communicating why we are asking someone else to do something, we are giving them good information about how urgent this is for us, what it’s importance is, how it makes a difference, and how their help matters.

“He who has a why to live for can bear with almost any how.” – Friedrich Nietzsche 

“If you have the answers to the whys, it will direct you to the hows.  As simple as that!” – Israelmore Ayivor

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Smackdown! Positive Patty vs. Debbie Downer

The Law of Attraction basically states that positive things happen to you if you think and act positively (a Positive Patty), and that negative things happen to you if you think and act negatively (Debbie Downer).  So…which are you, and what are you attracting to yourself every day?  More importantly, which one would you want to be around?

Let’s all take a step closer to Positive Patty and away from Debbie Downer.  Bringing a positive attitude goes a long way.  The difference between a good day and a bad day isn’t what happens to you, it’s how you react and your attitude towards it.  This is especially true when trying to deal with difficult problems and challenges.  While we shouldn’t ignore and sweep problems under the rug, don’t just point out that there is a problem.  Don’t be one of those people that constantly complain and blame others for everything bad that happens.  Step up your responsibility a little, look to the future, and make a suggestion or two of how those challenges can be overcome.  

Being more positive can be as simple as more public praise and less public criticism, smiling more, focusing on processes not people when fixing problems, staying away from sarcasm (it is criticism not humor), and being appreciative and showing it.

“If you are not part of the solution, you must be part of the problem.” – Eldridge Cleaver

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” – Mahatma Gandhi

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The Best Defense Is..

As a Martial Arts instructor for the last two decades, one of the things that I have come to learn is teaching someone to physically defend themselves does not necessarily give them the skills they really need to survive an attack unscathed.  Guns, knives, pepper spray, martial-arts - even with training all of these require a reaction and a decision. Most people are just not in real, life-threatening situations often enough to properly overcome the shock of being attacked and develop the reactions for physical training to be effective.  I’ve seen highly skilled MMA fighters beaten in street fights. Even police officers can hesitate the first time they draw their weapons for real – and they practice and train regularly!

I believe that proper self-defense training starts with the right mental preparation, and I teach the three “A’s” – Awareness, Avoidance and Action. 

Be aware of your surroundings, what is happening and how the people around you are acting. i.e. - don’t walk down the street listening to music and texting on your phone.

Make good decisions and avoid potential issues. Don’t choose to put yourself in bad situations. i.e. - don’t wait for a ride outside the mall at night alone (wait inside). 

If something happens, take action fast and continually until you are safe. Take control of your own fate. Don’t give your aggressor that power.

“Hey!  Let’s be careful out there.” – Sgt. Phil Esterhaus, character on 1980’s TV show Hill Street Blues

“Awareness is all about restoring your freedom to choose what you want instead of what your past imposes on you.” - Deepak Chopra

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