My favorite term is T.B.U. – True, But Useless. Basically, this means that while what you are saying might be a true statement, it has nothing to do with answering the question or solving the problem. For example, if I ask if you have any food in the refrigerator, and you say I eat lunch every day in the office. That may be true, but does not answer my question. True… But Useless. It is important to stay focused when communicating and solving problems together. Saves time and energy.
I’ll take this one step further. When we are dealing with situations it is common to get into these “battles” about how the issue occurred, who did what, who was right (and therefore who was wrong), who remembers what, etc. Often, these topics take more of our mindshare than what we need to fix the problem. Because this type of dialog can be more personal, we end up being more emotional and animated. In other words, we create drama (remember: drama bad….no drama good). And, all these topics….T.B.U!
There are only two things to focus on to stay on track:
1. Fix It – what do we need to know to take care of the immediate problem.
2. Prevent It – what do we need to know to prevent the problem from happening again.
Stay out of who did, said, forgot what and who was right/wrong. We have enough stress outside our control; don’t choose to add to it.
Also, keep issues separate, and “eat the elephant one bite at a time.” When working on solving a problem, address one issue at a time to keep things as clear and simple as possible. When you start throwing everything on the table at once, it becomes confusing and it is harder to figure out what is TBU and what isn’t.
General Barnicke: Where have you been soldier? John Winger: Training, sir. Soldiers: Training, sir.
General Barnicke: What kind of training? John Winger: Arrrmy training, sir. Soldiers: Army training, sir.
General Barnicke: Where is your drill sergeant, men? John Winger: Blown up, sir! Soldiers: Blown up, sir!
General Barnicke: Are you telling me that you men finished your training on your own? John Winger: That's the fact, Jack. Soldiers: That's the fact, Jack.
- From the movie Stripes (1981)
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