In the famous words of comedian Rodney Dangerfield, “I don’t get no respect!” Some days (even some weeks, months and years) can feel like that. It can seem like everyone is arguing with you, giving you a hard time, complaining, make decisions or mistakes that make your life difficult (and this can be before you even leave the house in the morning!). Even if we are the most tolerant, zen-like, of people (think Gandhi), we can lose our patience every once in a while if the conditions are right – tired, not feeling well, stressed. Especially stress. Chronic stress will wear down the most stoic of people. And what’s worse? Feeling like people are not giving you respect just adds to your already high stress levels!
What is respect? Respect is having consideration for yourself and others. This could mean respecting people’s privacy, their personal space, belongings, perspectives, philosophies, physical ability, beliefs and personality. It is also acting in honor of yourself and your values.
Why should we respect our colleagues? Just some of the benefits of respecting your co-workers are it builds trust, enhances your working relationships, helps you enjoy work more, increases job performance, decreases stress, and improves teamwork, workflow and output. It’s the “grease” that makes life less “squeaky”.
Respect is one of those things that is hard to gain and very easy to lose. Knowing what to do to show your respect for others is vital. It’s important that you pay attention to people to ensure you are showing respect in the way they want to be respected because if you get it wrong it could have the opposite effect. We cannot necessarily control what we think and feel (unless we are a monk… and even then…), but we can control how we act.
It’s the Golden Rule: treat people with dignity, and in the way you want them to treat you. If you don’t want to be yelled at, don’t yell at others. If you want others to be on time, be on time. If you want people to show you respect, show it to them. If this is the only thing you remember to do, you will do well. Here are some other ideas of specific ways to show respect to others:
Pretend your children or parents are watching when dealing with a difficult person or frustrating situation.
Be aware of what is going on around you and offer support others when they are stressed; do a little something special for then – run an errand, answer the phone or just do something small to go the extra mile and spread good cheer.
Start each morning with a cheerful greeting, say thank you, mind your manners, give compliments and positive feedback and validation for a job well done.
Stress, anger, frustration, complaining and venting can bring everyone down. Limit with who and where if you need to do this. A positive attitude goes a long way.
Watch your communication: choice of words, tone of voice, body language etc. People know when they don’t all match.
Some people will perceive how you respect others but how you treat yourself and your things - take care of yourself, take care of your things, keep your personal spaces clean and tidy.
Be an active listener, genuinely care about others; ask for opinions and input – it shows you care what people think.
If you’re in the wrong….apologize.
“It's easy to take a gun and annihilate your opposition, but what is really exciting to me is to see people with differing views come together and finally respect each other.” – Fred Rogers
“R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Find out what it means to me. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Take care, TCB…” – Aretha Franklin
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