Dude...I'm Talking!

I don’t know about you, but I hate being interrupted.  It doesn’t matter if it’s when I am placing my order at dinner or in a meeting.  Not only does it frustrate me, but I want to completely disengage from the conversation.  Unfortunately, in most cases, I don’t have the luxury of walking away from the conversation as a way to deal with it.  Communicating well with others is not only a great life skill, but a required part of what I do.  I have to breathe deep, suck it up and find a better way to deal. 

Here are some ideas of how to effectively deal with an “interrupter”:

·         Speak in shorter sentences – Shorter sentences are harder to interrupt.  You don’t need to take as many breaths which give others the chance to jump in.  And, it helps you be more concise and get to you point quicker, thus nothing to interrupt.   Shoot for one simple thought per sentence.

·         Make direct eye contact and lean in – Make sure your body language sends the message that you are engaged and should be listened to.  This is especially good if you know the culprit in advance.  Engage them actively.  Engage the entire room actively.  It is harder for someone to interrupt you when you are looking them in the eye.

·         Set expectations up front – Have a rule of engagement for the meeting that there are to be no interruptions and remind people of the rules at the outset (BTW - having rules of engagement are a great meeting tool).  You can also tell people you want to get your complete idea and to not interrupt you until you do.  In most cases, the problem is not that people don’t know what is right…they just need reminders.

·         Interrupt back – If you do get interrupted, interrupt back…politely…to finish your thought.  The semi-ignoring them way, “Just one moment please...” The blunt way, “I value your suggestions. Please let me finish my thoughts first.”  Don’t let the person get away with it or they will continue and others will think the behavior is OK.

And a note for those of you that are habitual interrupters – think about the message you send to others when you do this.  You are telling them you are more important than they are.  That is not good in any relationship.  And, why you interrupt is not really relevant.  Just because you don’t want to forget your idea, doesn’t mean that I will understand and not feel disrespected by you.  You can write it down… 

“Don’t interrupt me while I’m interrupting.”  – Winston Churchill

“Looking back, you realize that everything would have explained itself if only you had stopped interrupting.” – Robert Brault

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Completed Staff Work

When I worked at GE, the buzzword of the day – other than process improvement which was big at that time – was a concept called completed staff work.  The concept was developed in the military during WWII. Completed staff work is the study of a problem and provision of a solution by a staff person in such form that all that remains to be done by the boss is to give approval or disapproval of the completed staff action.    In other words, take the initiative to think the problem all the way through, including anticipating any questions your boss might ask, and get it right – and completed – the first time.

 Here is a great story that illustrates this principle:

A certain farmer had become old and ready to pass his farm down to one of his two sons. When he brought his sons together to speak about it, he told them: The farm will go to the younger son.  The older son was furious! “What are you talking about?!” he fumed. 

The father sat patiently, thinking.  “Okay,” the father said, “I need you to do something for me. We need more stock. Will you go to Cibi’s farm and see if he has any cows for sale?”  The older son shortly returned and reported, “Father, Cibi has 6 cows for sale.”  The father graciously thanked the older son for his work.

He then turned to the younger son and said, “I need you to do something for me. We need more stock. Will you go to Cibi’s farm and see if he has any cows for sale?”  The younger son did as he was asked. A short while later, he returned and reported, “Father, Cibi has 6 cows for sale. Each cow will cost 2,000 rupees. If we are thinking about buying more than 6 cows, Cibi said he would be willing to reduce the price 100 rupees. Cibi also said they are getting special jersey cows next week if we aren’t in a hurry, it may be good to wait. However, if we need the cows urgently, Cibi said he could deliver the cows tomorrow.” 

The father graciously thanked the younger son for his work. He then turned to the older son and said, “That’s why your younger brother is getting the farm.”

“Initiative is doing the right thing without being told.” – Victor Hugo

“People and organizations don’t grow much without delegation and completed staff work because they are confined to the capacities of the boss and reflect both personal strengths and weaknesses.” – Stephen Covey

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The Multitasking Myth

Are you are a good multitasker?  Really?  I call “B.S.” on that!

Multitasking is a myth.  Earl Miller – a neuroscientist from MIT – said, “The brain is very good at deluding itself.”  We simply cannot focus on more than one thing at a time.  What we can do, he said, is shift our focus from one thing to the next with astonishing speed.  This is “task switching”.  We can perceive this as paying attention to everything going on, but we really are not.  

Task switching has a two major pitfalls – You will MISS details because you are focused elsewhere; and, you will LOSE details even after you switch focus as your brain needs time to catch up with every switch of attention.  And the devil is in the details.

Ever walk down the street while talking on the phone and stumble?  That’s because for that split second you were focused on the conversation instead of where you put your foot down.  Or the reverse, you slightly missed something that the person on the phone said (“please repeat that”)?  That was because you were focused on the street in front of you.  You can take this example and apply it to anything – texting while driving, reading your email in a meeting, working on two projects at once.  They are all the same. Both of what you are trying to “multitask” suffer.

The only real way to deal with this is to stop trying to multitask.  Deal with tasks sequentially, the way our brains were optimally design to, one after the other, and minimize task switching.  

“Multi-tasking arises out of distraction itself.” – Marilyn vos Savant

“To do two things as once is to do neither.” – Publilius Syrus

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