The Right Tool For The Right Job (or, If I Had a Hammer....)

In college, I had a professor of finance and while I cannot remember his name, I will never forget something he said one day in class.

We had just finished our mid-term exam, and most of the class was worked up and complaining about the test.  The professor, at the last minute, made us take the test in the computer lab using Lotus 1-2-3 (for those of you too young to remember, Lotus 1-2-3 was the #1 spreadsheet software on the market before Excel).  In the late ‘80s, personal computers were still not that common.  Most kids coming into college had never used one, and it was a rare student that actually owned a computer.

So naturally, most of the students in the class thought it was completely unfair that the professor would make them take the test on a computer.  And, like only kids and college students can, they whined about the total unfairness of it all, “I thought this was a finance class, not a computer class!  It’s not fair!  I don’t know how to use a computer!” 

At which point the professor said something brilliant!  “If you were a carpenter, trying to get a job in construction and you told the foreman you couldn’t use a hammer, do you think he would hire you?!?!  Spreadsheet software is the hammer of business & finance.  You won’t be able to get a job in finance if you don’t know how to use it.”

Basically he told us to suck it up and learn how to use (and find) the right tool for the job.

“Technology is nothing.  What’s important is that you have faith in people, that they are basically good and smart, and if you give them tools, they’ll do wonderful things with them.”  - Steve Jobs

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Fight or Flight

What is conflict?  Most of us would define it by the ugly behaviors we see – loud voices, yelling, disagreement, sometimes it gets physical – or, by how it makes us feel – uncomfortable, angry, frustrated, scared.  The reality is that this type of conflict is the very small minority.  We experience conflict regularly, every day, in usually very safe and non-threatening ways – deciding where to go to dinner with someone, solving a problem as a team, taking care of a customer issue, working out your priorities for the day with your supervisor.  None of these things have to feel or act like the kind of “conflict” above.

So, how do I define conflict?  It is when two or more people are discussing something – anything – and there is more than one opinion.  Simple as that.  No yelling.  No red in the face.  No animated gestures (and certainly no fistfights).   Just…more than one opinion.

The risks of “fight” or “flight”:

The dangers of “fight” – the ugly kind of conflict – is pretty straight forward.  When you don’t treat people with respect, you risk losing them.  They shut down and eventually they leave for a better, less stressful environment.  It also leads to anger.  When you’re really angry, you don’t tend to think very well, leading to poor decision (just watch any episode of Cops).

Dangers of “flight” – conflict avoidance – is twofold.  (1) You will never get what you want, and you’ll be miserable – If you always back down or never speak up how will anyone ever know what you want?  And, you won’t ever get what you want.  Worse, you’ll get angry at the other person for “always getting their way”, when in fairness, it’s your fault for not speaking up, not theirs.  (2) You risk settling for an inferior decision.  Dialog & discussion are good things.  Having more than one opinion and perspective leads to better decision and fewer mistakes.  Two heads (or more) are better than one……

Things to do:

If you are a fighter….learn to take a deep breath and count to 10.  Often we can get to the solution quicker by taking the strong emotions out of it.

If you are an avoider….learn that your opinion counts.  And if you feel un-safe sharing your opinion with someone, create “rules of engagement” or “rules of disagreeing”.  Having an agreed way of communicating in advance with someone is a great way to encourage dialog around differences of opinion.

“Conflict is unavoidable.  Combat is optional.”  - Max Lucado (author and preacher)

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