A Sticky Solution.

Do you know what the single biggest difference between really successful people and everyone else is?  There are a lot of opinions floating around out there….brains, luck, organization, innovation, communication.  And, a lot of people teaching methods to be successful….Stephen Covey and Tony Robbins to name a couple.

All these ideas and gurus can help you be successful.  But, there is one thing that stands out above all.  Without it, all these other things go to waste.   Pay attention….it’s…..CONSISTENCY

The people that are really successful have the stick-to-it-ness to consistently apply what makes them successful all the time, no matter what, through thick and thin, regardless of what anyone else thinks.  Whether with personal habits or in the reliability of the customer service you provide (to internal and external customers), being consistent in what you do and what you provide sets you apart from the crowd.

 

“It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives.  It’s what we do consistently.” – Tony Robbins

“We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence, then is not an act, but a habit.” – Aristotle

 

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Just Do Your Job!


Bill Belichick said this in an interview before his first Patriots camp.  He is famous for this philosophy – be prepared; work hard; pay attention to the details; put the team first.  There is also a big communication lesson in his philosophy, the essence of which is that a team has to be well coordinated in order to perform well.  Everyone has to do what is expected of them, know what everyone else is expected to do, pay attention to other team members, and if something changes communicate well so the team is all on the same page and can execute their jobs.

In business or in Forum, this has huge meaning:

·         Communicate the game plan to the team – you cannot blame someone else for dropping the ball if you never told them what the plan was, or if the plan was so complicated no one understood it.  If the offense doesn’t know the plan is to run against this team because they have a great pass defense, too many pass plays can lose the game.

·         Work the plan (and if you can’t, really make sure everyone knows and owns the changes) – mistakes happen when one person decides to change the plan and does not let anyone else know.  Audibles are OK, but only when communicated well.  For example, if we have an established procedure for something and someone changes it, even in the name of improvement, without telling others, that often triggers mistakes or at least a long and painful email chain! 

·         Set expectations for each player – when sending an email or discussing an action item with someone else, if you do not clearly communicate what they are responsible to do and they don’t explicitly take responsibility for those actions, fumbles will happen.  If the receiver thinks the play calls for a slant right, but it was supposed to be a slant left, who is at fault when the QB throws it to an empty field? (if you said both you’d be right!)

·         Practice the fundamentals – practice makes perfect.  The more you practice good communication basics, the better your communication will be. 

·         Provide immediate feedback – if a mistake or misstep happens, the best time for feedback is right away so it is fresh in everyone’s mind.  Don’t forget two important rules for feedback – 1. Only do it in front of the people that have to hear the feedback, not in public.  2.  Don’t just say what was wrong, always discuss how to improve.  Feedback without ideas for improvement is just criticism (and not the good kind).

 

“Communication must be HOT.  That’s Honest, Open and Two-way.” – Dan Oswald

“Communication works for those who work at it.” – John Powell

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It's Not About You.

The secret to living a happier life? Don’t Take Anything Personally.  Ever come home at night and your spouse, significant other, child, roommate, etc. snaps at you and treats you like crap?  And, you have no idea why?  And, worse, you feel bad about it?  And, even worse, end up in a stupid fight about their snapping at you?  This is a great example of taking things too personally.  That person was probably stressed over something that had nothing to do with you…yet you ended up down a rabbit hole you never want to go down!

We are all social creatures and to survive in a community we rely – to different degrees – on other people and their opinions of us.  As a result, people have a tendency to take things that happen around them personally.  More often than not, those things are not even about them.  Here are some thoughts on how to stop taking things so personally:

1.       Don’t worry so much about what other people think about you.  It’s your own opinion of yourself that matters most.

2.       Recognize the “spotlight” effect.  You are typically your own worst critic.  Most of the time when others say things we fill in the blanks with our own story and judgements about ourselves which are usually harsher.

3.       Realize that not everything is about you.  Usually when someone else is expressing anger it is about them or about something that happened, not about you personally.

4.       Don’t respond immediately from an emotional state.  Give yourself a minute.  Take a breath.  And, think it through first.

 

“We often add to our pain and suffering by being overly sensitive, over-reacting to minor things, and sometimes taking things too personally.” – Dalai Lama

“Arrogance and fear still keep you from learning the simplest and most significant lesson of all; it’s not about you.”  – The Ancient One (Tilda Swinton) from the Dr. Strange Movie

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