Are you Bored?

I HATE the word bored! I learned this loathing when my kids were young. Every time (and I mean EVERY time) I asked them how they were doing or what was going on the answer was (you guessed it) “I’m BORED.” It was fingernails on a chalkboard for me.

Now for the “20-miles in the snow barefoot to school when I was young” story… I don’t know about you, but I never remember being bored as a kid. If I didn’t have something to do, I figured out something to do. If I didn’t like what I was doing, I’d choose to do something else. (Even if it involved matches and angry parents, though that story is not relevant… never mind… I plead the 5th.) I could never understand why my kids were bored, and more importantly why they chose to remain bored.

Boredom is actually a fantastic motivator and change agent. It’s a signal to yourself that you need a different way to get engaged, a different value proposition. Don’t accept being bored - in your career, in your Forum, in your life. Engage your creativity. Embrace change. Make a choice.

“Boredom: the desire for desires.” - Leo Tolstoy

“The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.” - Dorothy Parker

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Tear Flesh Like A Dog... Or, Not.

All of us could be more aware of the impact of what we say, how we act and how we sound has on others others. Most of the time, what we intended is not what they perceive.  Here’s a good example…

I grew up in a family that used humor as an expression of love.  Not an uncommon thing.  But not just any humor.  We used teasing and sarcasm…incessantly.  While that was the norm for my family, not everyone saw the love in how we spoke to each other.  Most importantly.... my wife.  Sarcasm and teasing were not a part of her family’s dynamics.  It upset her when we did this.  Her perspective was how could being the butt of a joke, laughing at someone else’s expense and being mean show you love them?!?!

She asked if I knew the origin of the work sarcasm which I did not know then (…I know it now).  Sarcasm can be traced back to the Greek verb sarkazein, which initially meant "to tear flesh like a dog" and developed into meanings of "to bite one's lips in rage," "to gnash one's teeth," and eventually "to sneer."  Again, how is that love?!?!

So when I thought I was showing love to my wife by including her in the family joking, I was really doing the opposite.

“It’s not what you say, it’s what people hear.”  – Frank Lutz

“It’s not what you look at that matter, it’s what you see.” – Henry David Thoreau

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How'd You Learn That?

A friend of mine - Amit Sevak - has a podcast that I was recently interviewed on. “How’d You Learn That?” is for listeners curious about skills and how we acquire them. Their guests include people with fascinating talents (like chess grandmasters, opera singers, and serial entrepreneurs - still trying to figure out why he asked ME) alongside specialists in the process of skill acquisition itself (like teachers, coaches, education technologists) and experts with a bead on the macro picture (like economists, politicians, and brain scientists). 

What do martial arts and facilitation have in common? Turns out, quite a bit! Join Amit Sevak and Adam Steiner, a certified facilitator and Fifth Dan expert in martial arts, as we discuss the skill one needs to be a good facilitator... and a good fighter!

“The capacity to learn is a gift; the ability to learn is a skill; the willingness to learn is choice.” - Brian Herbert

“I am still learning.” - Michelangelo (at age 87)

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